My response to a post discussing rape as a plot device:
Every once in a grand while, I’ve had a player ask if Mister or Missus So-and-so can be killed in-game, just a small cameo to take out frustration. I never let it (the impromptu scenario as a whole) last more than five minutes… But it happens.
I haven’t had an in-game rape scenario occur any more vividly than “O-crap-it-happened to an NPC, and now you guys get to catch the bad NPC, beat the dipstick to a pulp, and we can move on with our lives while you show the victim that justice was served, get your prize, and move on.” Yeah, I’ve used it as a plot thickener, or as a plot mover – so long as it had some bearing on the game – but never the plot itself.
Circumstantial – I know it happens because I fainted once-upon-a-time and scared the guy who was about to… the only reason I can conceive that he failed to go through with it. So, recognizing it was once my almost-reality, I sometimes incorporate it for my own catharsis… but never in detail, and never “up-close,” in-game. Force such an in-game scenario on a PC, never.
Sexual antics in-game; they happen. I don’t tend to allow it beyond, “Yeah, the floopy Elf waitress lays you.” If they ask if it was good… I might throw that player a bone *ahem* and tell them to roll a d20… the higher the result, the better it was. A successful CHA check may or may not get them a plot hint. Another once-upon-a-time, in 2006 during an extended adventure I ran, a PC’s human Bard and my NPC halfling Rogue fell in love. I rolled percentiles to determine if their drunken “revelry” resulted in offspring – my best gal, Tandy, had twins, a boy and a girl. Thanks, percentile. *chuckle*
Other violence is hard for me, as a DM, to do. I’m “too LG”. I’m not well-versed in torture-as-reality. Maybe I didn’t watch enough scary movies as a kid. For me, incorporating violence is fine until it becomes uncomfortable (or doesn’t fit the sustained tone of the game), in which case it turns to indirect references. Namely, Monty Python kickers: “Well, you’ve an ‘arm off,’ now, PC #2. Keep on this path in the game, what limb you want to lose next?” I’m still working on how I can possibly run an evil campaign when I can’t stand gory stuff… especially in-game…
…Where I feel like I have a mental projection of my brain on the table where my players somehow-Energetically join me, and I run off the seat of my pants – typically, I’ll throw out a couple things, and tell my players, “Now, go.” It’s up to them to decide how they interact in and with my world.
A DM lesson I would like to pass on, though not related: If you have a good game and a PC acts like an idiot, deter the character, or change the story. It isn’t worth it to just let the character die for being belligerent… But it can be used.
Later in that discussion, this link was posted: The troubled relationship between Sex and Video Games
Here’s another good post in this topic: Satyr’s Mighty FantiSex Gaming Spectrum